The Blog Escape

I wake up early because I don’t really have anything to sleep for, and as I write this post I am becoming increasingly aware that as of lately I have been abusing my blog. Instead of me working on longer more substantial projects I blog. Instead of creating personal entries in my journal to assess how I am really feeling I blog. Instead of me sitting in that dark room with all of my pain and trauma I briskly walk through it and turn on the light before I leave—in other words I blog.  

I need to stop running and face all of the hurt. I need to remain in the room with it him until, at the very least, we come to an understanding. I’m thinking I may need to stop blogging for a while. I need to figure this out.

-YB

The Departure of Sleep

Another sleepless night when no one can bring me peace; not Marvin, not Nina, not Nneka, not Sade. I’m not in the mood for texting or talking, nor do I feel like facebooking or watching television. And I can’t say I want to write as much as I am instinctively drawn to do so.  

Whitney’s gone and I still haven’t found the words to express myself.  Maybe if she were alive then her voice would be the one to put me to sleep. But she’s gone and the thought of her just brings me more pain. It’s insane how we get so attached to those we have never met. There’s so much chaos in the world. So many people come and go that it’s hard to keep your balance. It’s now become even harder for me to go to sleep.

-YB