I am not a perfect gentleman nor do I try to be one. Sometimes when I have dinner or drinks with a young lady I pay the tab and other times I don’t. I always pay for whatever I eat or drink but whether or not I treat her depends. There is a woman who I have chilled out with twice in the two years since I’ve known her. The first time we hung out I invited her to go see The Foreign Exchange with me at a venue called The New Parrish in Oakland, CA.
She came an hour late but I still bought her drinks. I wasn’t tripping too much because I got the tickets for free. I just met the young lady and I thought why not share a moment with her. It was a nice night but after the concert was over responsibility pulled us apart. The next time we hung out she randomly invited me to breakfast and ordered the most expensive omelet on the menu. I did not pay for her nor did I appreciate her asking me out and assuming that I would buy her food. I haven’t seen her since.
On another occasion I drove up to Sacramento for a weird mostly platonic, kind of first date-ish, ill-defined hook up at a bar with a woman who I had been texting and chatting with for quite some time. I had a little money in my pocket so I planned on paying the tab, but this chick drank a lot. I tried to ever so subtly close the tab after her third glass of wine but she ordered two more. I understood that it was happy hour but damn. Needless to say I refused to pay for her last two adult beverages. She took it well and we’re still cool but I haven’t seen her since.
What determines whether or not I’m going to be a gentleman is quite simple. It is a gesture that I have always loved. It is when the waiter or bartender places the check on the table and my female companion immediately reaches for her purse. I instantly say; “No, no, no. It’s cool. I got it.” And she says; “Are you sure?” And I reply with even more confidence and affection “Yeah. Yeah. Don’t trip.” This may seem like nothing at all but it is the sexiest thing a woman can do on a date, particularly a first date. It shows that her first instinct is to be independent but in her heart she doesn’t mind being treated like a lady. Every time a woman does this I can’t help but to be a gentleman.
-YB